Local Man Assaults and Batters Husband, Chicken

by christopher taylor

ST. PAUL, MN--Travel Agent Anthony Gurley returned home from work on Friday to discover his husband of five years William Knox baking the couple's chicken dinner.

"I sort of freaked out," quasi-apologized Gurley. "But chicken just isn't chicken unless it is fried. So I threatened to, and then did, hit Billy with a rolling pin. Now where I got a rolling pin from, I'm not sure..."

"I thought Tony would appreciate a change of pace for once," Knox sobbed. "I put together this great dry rub I found in Gourmet. I had to stop at four stores just to get all the ingredients. And this is the thanks I get?"

Gurley apologized after the incident, helped Knox put together a soothing ice pack, then proceeded to prepare the chicken as he desired.

"I use a flour and water mixture to batter the chicken pieces," explained Gurley. "And a lot of salt. Always extra salt. Tasty."