Pope Delays Death By Day to Encourage Hoaxless News Coverage

by christopher taylor

VATICAN CITY--Pope John Paul II, in an effort to prevent news media from conjecturing his announced death was an April Fool's Day hoax, declined to meet his maker on Friday.

"He wanted to make sure those right bastards over at FOX News and Aljazeera didn't think we were pulling a fast one on them," explained Archbishop Leonardo Sandri. "So he waited until Saturday to finally succumb to the will of God."

FOX News and Aljazeera have thus far failed to postulate that the announcement of the Pope's death was anything other than sincere. But CNN Anchor Wolf Blitzer quipped, "coming up we have another chuckler from those dirty Papists in Rome."