Iraqis Elect James Madison to Head Constitutional Congress

by christopher taylor

BAGDHAD--Turnout was high on Sunday during Iraq's national election, and the polling went smoother than expected. Unfortunately, the relatively uninformed Iraqi electorate apparently tapped the American credited with drafting much of its Constitution, James Madison, to smooth their transition into democracy.

"We think they weren't aware he has been dead for nearly 170 years," commented Kofi Annan, the UN secretary-general. "Either that, or the anonymous candidate decision the election officials made to prevent terrorists from targeting future leaders backfired with a particularly effective and hilarious prank."

Madison's corpse collapsed gently, which has been taken by some commentators to indicate he politely declined the offer.