Suicidal Man Takes Vioxx, Celebrex, Failure

by christopher taylor

ST. PAUL, MN--Substitute teacher Paul T. Nelson attempted to take his own life on Wednesday after being accused of molesting 11-year olds by the school's principal. Nelson, 32, chose his father's arthritis medications--Vioxx and Celebrex--as the means to effect his suicide.

"I'd heard on TV that both Vioxx and Celebrex cause heart attacks and strokes," Nelson explained. "I also heard Vioxx was so dangerous it was being recalled. I thought I'd kill so much pain and deter so much inflammation, I'd die. I guess I was wrong."

Nelson is in stable condition at Regions Hospital, awaiting a psychological referral.