Jesus Drowns

by christopher taylor

EIN GEV, ISRAEL--Jesus of Nazareth, after returning to Earth on Wednesday, drown, while attempting to cross the Sea of Galilee on foot.

"I kept telling him the 'walking on water' bit was a one time thing," commented passerby Pat Robertson. "But he had some appointment in Tiberias and didn't want to wait for a water taxi. And certainly the son of God can't be taking a bus."

Jesus's followers were upset by the news.

"He was supposed to make everything okay," Jerry Falwell cried. "But instead he up and died before even publicly announcing his return. Why didn't someone save him? Why didn't someone teach him to swim?"