Cuckolded Phish Fan Sleeps Diagonal in His Bed

by christopher taylor

BURLINGTON, VT--Avid Phish fan and barber Ed Portman started sleeping diagonal in his bed recently after his wife of twelve years Jill ran off with her Yoga instructor, Horace.

"A rift developed between us," explained Portman. "Naturally, when she was there, I would sleep lengthwise. But now that she's gone, I sleep diagonal in my bed."

Jill refused to stop riding her new man to comment.