Poets Embrace Reznor

by danny lohner

NEW ORLEANS--The Louisiana Association of Poets, Dancers, Orators and Grifters announced it had invited Nine Inch Nails' frontman Trent Reznor to headline their annual poetry expo "Word Art".

"Artists are sick of being marginalized by the media and its commercial endeavors," complained LAPDOG President Charles Preene. "So we're taking back the mainstream by including popular local lyricists. People will come to see Trent and be exposed to some of Louisiana's sadly overlooked geniuses."

In other news, NIN fan and aspiring poet Jacob Carlin broke into Reznor's house yesterday and hugged the musician.

Reznor was reportedly "honored" by the invitation, but ultimately declined. "I don't care much for pretentious, bald poetry," Reznor said. "Nor am I a big fan of fan embraces. Thanks just the same."